My Son and I at the Same Height
我的兒子和我一樣高 / 21 color photographs, 2002-2021 and going on
Statement /
我的兒子和我一樣高
我以我的身高作為基準,與兒子一起找尋能站起來一樣高的日常場景拍照。從2002年至2020年,這組作品已拍攝了18年, 並計畫以每年一張的進度繼續拍下去。這些母子照,除了紀錄了我們一起「一樣高」的努力成果外,更在時間的推演下,猶如書寫個人史般,再現了我們的日常、成長與關係的變化,這如遊戲、如教育的持續性藝術行為,是提醒自己與孩子,平等與互為尊重不是輕而易舉就能得到的,而是需要刻意時時察覺且一起持續實踐的。18年來,每每看著這些能一一顯現出我們成長的照片,常常讓我感動不已。兒子從稚嫩到茁壯,而我也漸漸朝向衰老。如縮影般的影像,留下了我們在生命之流中平凡身影的變化,也留下我們一起共有的人生故事。對我,這是無比的珍貴。
整個系列作品的第一張是來自於偶然,2002年兒子正學習走路,他在我攙扶下於矮牆上行走,一樣高的互動,帶給我們無比的喜悅,於是請丈夫拍下這值得紀念的一刻,就如平常的家庭照般。然而這張照片放大後,影像中的「一樣高」每每成為我凝視下既開心又憂愁的刺點,於是我開始探討這個重要卻不明的感受。
「一樣高」讓我憶起自己還是小女孩時常站在不同物品上,跟父母玩比身高的欣喜。如果能找到一樣高時,就覺得自己可以暫時用大人的視野看到不同於小孩的大世界,這是一種對長大的殷切期盼。但後來因自己進入青春期並和母親真正的一樣高後,開始切身體會到當時社會在傳統父權價值觀下,造成女性卑微的種種。而這些卑微非女人能力不夠,而是女人的附屬地位早已被訂定。例如: 女人一生必須跟隨她的男人;若女人生不出男性後代,將受夫家終身歧視;女生在職業選擇上有著種種限制、男女生教養的資源不均等等。對我而言,成長是換來明白社會對女人的差別待遇與限制,一種無奈與悲憤感不自覺的在看到這樣具成長喜悅的「一樣高」中油然而生。這交雜的感受,促使身為藝術家和母親的我,展開一個用家庭照式的長期攝影計劃,試圖從私領域中慢慢的在與小孩不斷成長中,翻轉這些造成種種不愉快的傳統性別概念。
我嘗試以我與兒子間視覺上的「一樣高」,來表達我對於兒子在對待性別議題上的期許。我認為在臺灣傳統上享有優勢的男性長子身份的他,擁有平等且互為尊重的態度,顯得特別重要。我不希望他因自己的性別而自大自傲或充滿責任的壓力,更不希望我體驗到的男高女低的性別差別待遇,在他那一代繼續發生。當兒子超越我的身高時,換我們一起尋找讓我可以跟他一樣高的場景來拍攝,這代表身為媽媽的我,不放棄學習與成長,仍然重視我們互為尊重的母子關係。它同時也提醒自己不可倚老賣老,需要放下身段看看並參與屬於兒子的新時代。
整個系列作品的第一張是來自於偶然,2002年兒子正學習走路,他在我攙扶下於矮牆上行走,一樣高的互動,帶給我們無比的喜悅,於是請丈夫拍下這值得紀念的一刻,就如平常的家庭照般。然而這張照片放大後,影像中的「一樣高」每每成為我凝視下既開心又憂愁的刺點,於是我開始探討這個重要卻不明的感受。
「一樣高」讓我憶起自己還是小女孩時常站在不同物品上,跟父母玩比身高的欣喜。如果能找到一樣高時,就覺得自己可以暫時用大人的視野看到不同於小孩的大世界,這是一種對長大的殷切期盼。但後來因自己進入青春期並和母親真正的一樣高後,開始切身體會到當時社會在傳統父權價值觀下,造成女性卑微的種種。而這些卑微非女人能力不夠,而是女人的附屬地位早已被訂定。例如: 女人一生必須跟隨她的男人;若女人生不出男性後代,將受夫家終身歧視;女生在職業選擇上有著種種限制、男女生教養的資源不均等等。對我而言,成長是換來明白社會對女人的差別待遇與限制,一種無奈與悲憤感不自覺的在看到這樣具成長喜悅的「一樣高」中油然而生。這交雜的感受,促使身為藝術家和母親的我,展開一個用家庭照式的長期攝影計劃,試圖從私領域中慢慢的在與小孩不斷成長中,翻轉這些造成種種不愉快的傳統性別概念。
我嘗試以我與兒子間視覺上的「一樣高」,來表達我對於兒子在對待性別議題上的期許。我認為在臺灣傳統上享有優勢的男性長子身份的他,擁有平等且互為尊重的態度,顯得特別重要。我不希望他因自己的性別而自大自傲或充滿責任的壓力,更不希望我體驗到的男高女低的性別差別待遇,在他那一代繼續發生。當兒子超越我的身高時,換我們一起尋找讓我可以跟他一樣高的場景來拍攝,這代表身為媽媽的我,不放棄學習與成長,仍然重視我們互為尊重的母子關係。它同時也提醒自己不可倚老賣老,需要放下身段看看並參與屬於兒子的新時代。
With my height as a reference point, I found places in our daily lives where my son and I could take photos and be at the same height. Over the 18 years (2002 to 2020) which these artworks spanned, I planned to take one photo a year. As if writing a personal history, these mother-son photos not only recorded the fruits of our labors in trying to be “at the same height”, they also reconstructed the changes in our daily lives and relationship as we grew together. This continuous artistic expression was much like a game and a lesson, reminding my son and me that achieving equality and mutual respect was not an easy task; it required intentional and constant awareness. As 18 years have passed, I get choked up each time I look at these photos of our growth. From tender and soft to sturdy and strong, my son grew. Meanwhile, I continued to age. Like microform images, these photos project the changes of our silhouettes in the flow of life, as well as the life stories we shared. To me, this is priceless.
The first photo in this artwork series was but happenstance. It was 2002 and my son was learning to walk. He was walking upon a short wall as I supported him with my arm. Our interaction at the same height provided us an indescribable happiness, and so I asked my husband to take this family photo during a moment worth documenting. After I enlarged the photo, I became fixated on the image of being “at the same height”, which brought me both happiness and sorrow. Thus began my exploration into this important, yet nondescript feeling.
Being “at the same height” reminded me of the joy of standing on various objects as a little girl to play with my parents. When I got to their height, it felt like I could see the big, wide world ever so briefly from the point of view of an adult. From this stemmed an eagerness to grow up. But upon entering puberty, when I actually grew to the same height as my mother, I experienced for myself the inferior status of women in a society mired by traditional patriarchal values. To be sure, this lowly status was not because women were incompetent, but rather because they had long been assigned a subsidiary position in society. Examples of this include women needing to follow men their whole lives; if a woman cannot birth a son, they will suffer lifelong discrimination from the husband’s family; women having many limitations on what careers they can choose; and men and women not being afforded equal resources in education. To me, I traded my growth for an awareness of the unequal treatment and limitations placed on women by society. A sense of helplessness and bitterness naturally grew out of seeing the image of being “at the same height”, an image which also exhibited the joys of growing up. This storm of emotions urged me, as an artist and a mother, to embark on this long-term family photo project in an attempt to use events from my private life with my son to slowly overturn these traditional gender values which have caused so much suffering.
Here, I try to use images of my son and me being “at the same height” to express my hopes for how he would treat topics related to gender. As he is a male and eldest child in a Taiwanese society where these traits reign supreme, I believe maintaining an impartial and respectful attitude towards gender-related issues is especially important. I do not wish for him to be either pretentious or pressured by responsibilities due to his gender, and I especially do not want the idea which I experienced of “men being superior to women” to persist into his generation. When my son passed me in height, we then needed to find places where we could take a photo so I could then get to his height. This meant that as a mother I would not give up learning and growing, and would continue to value our mother-son relationship which we had built upon mutual respect. It was also a reminder that I should not assume I was superior to him because of my age, and that I needed to humble myself and observe and participate in my son’s new generation.
The first photo in this artwork series was but happenstance. It was 2002 and my son was learning to walk. He was walking upon a short wall as I supported him with my arm. Our interaction at the same height provided us an indescribable happiness, and so I asked my husband to take this family photo during a moment worth documenting. After I enlarged the photo, I became fixated on the image of being “at the same height”, which brought me both happiness and sorrow. Thus began my exploration into this important, yet nondescript feeling.
Being “at the same height” reminded me of the joy of standing on various objects as a little girl to play with my parents. When I got to their height, it felt like I could see the big, wide world ever so briefly from the point of view of an adult. From this stemmed an eagerness to grow up. But upon entering puberty, when I actually grew to the same height as my mother, I experienced for myself the inferior status of women in a society mired by traditional patriarchal values. To be sure, this lowly status was not because women were incompetent, but rather because they had long been assigned a subsidiary position in society. Examples of this include women needing to follow men their whole lives; if a woman cannot birth a son, they will suffer lifelong discrimination from the husband’s family; women having many limitations on what careers they can choose; and men and women not being afforded equal resources in education. To me, I traded my growth for an awareness of the unequal treatment and limitations placed on women by society. A sense of helplessness and bitterness naturally grew out of seeing the image of being “at the same height”, an image which also exhibited the joys of growing up. This storm of emotions urged me, as an artist and a mother, to embark on this long-term family photo project in an attempt to use events from my private life with my son to slowly overturn these traditional gender values which have caused so much suffering.
Here, I try to use images of my son and me being “at the same height” to express my hopes for how he would treat topics related to gender. As he is a male and eldest child in a Taiwanese society where these traits reign supreme, I believe maintaining an impartial and respectful attitude towards gender-related issues is especially important. I do not wish for him to be either pretentious or pressured by responsibilities due to his gender, and I especially do not want the idea which I experienced of “men being superior to women” to persist into his generation. When my son passed me in height, we then needed to find places where we could take a photo so I could then get to his height. This meant that as a mother I would not give up learning and growing, and would continue to value our mother-son relationship which we had built upon mutual respect. It was also a reminder that I should not assume I was superior to him because of my age, and that I needed to humble myself and observe and participate in my son’s new generation.